Requesting Information and Email Protocol

NOTE:  The following is a RANT.  I freely admit that I am irritated by a letter that I received today.  But I did recognize the need to address this issue and what better place than here in the FAQ section.

I often get requests for information about enemas, catheter play, anal play and the like.  Sometimes the request will come in the form of a well thought out email, complete with a "Dear Ma'am" and ending with "Thank you for your time. Sincerely yours, John Smith".

But, more often than not it will come in the form of a demand.  Much like the letter I received earlier today that contained the following:

"I WANT TO KNOW HOW TO GET INFO ON ENEMAS AN CATHERIZATION OF A SEXUAL NATURE"

The above line was the entire letter.  No greeting,   No Signature, No nothing.  My response follows:

---

Dear ??,

First of all, let me introduce you to the CORRECT way in which to contact a person when requesting information.

#1. Do not shout. Unless you are visually impaired, typing in all upper case is considered shouting.

#2. Unless you wish people to delete your message unanswered it would be better for you to address the letter to the person you wish information from. In my case, "Dear Ms. Star" would be appropriate. I am not telling you this because I am egotistical but because I have a fondness for courtesy and always try to lead others by example. By sending this type of DEMAND for information without a salutation makes it appear that it is a form letter that you have sent to others at the same time. I for one, do not care for form letters, nor do I like the idea that I have been "lumped in" with the masses.  You may consider THAT as being egotistical if you wish.

#3. The way you've written your request for information sounds like a demand. Most of us do not respond well to demands from anybody.

#4. Take a moment and spell check your email, note, method of contact. Nothing is more irritating than trying to reason out what somebody wants when the email is poorly written. I understand that not everybody has a college degree and even some lack a high school diploma, HOWEVER, almost every single computer comes equipped with a spell check device. If you're unsure of a word, LOOK IT UP either in your own dictionary or go online and take advantage of the resources offered by Dictionary.com! GREAT SITE!  http://dictionary.com/ 

Seriously though... when I receive an email that is poorly written, I tend to misinterpret the writers' request and feel as though the author is demanding something of me, which I truly hate! Ask me, yes... Demand from me, NO!

#5. Finally, you need to show some courtesy and respect for the people you are contacting for information. The courtesy comes by way of signing your note with "sincerely, yours truly, etc., YOUR NAME or NICK", the respect comes by way of saying "Thank you in advance for your time" or "I would appreciate any information that you could provide.... "

I apologize in advance if you take offense at my letter to you. It is sent to you with a sincere hope that you see the value in it and not take it as a slam against you personally. Since I do not know you, I have no intentions of insulting you personally. However, I do know that many people who contact me and others like me, are newcomers to the world of E-Mail and/or the Internet. Consequently, letters like yours are written by those who lack the knowledge regarding Internet Protocol and the like. You wouldn't send a handwritten letter through the mail this way, so why should your email be any different?

I also wish to thank you. Your note, and the style that it's written in has shown me the need for an FAQ that deals with email contact and information requests. Look for it in the very near future in the FAQ section.

<SNIP> Information response

Sincerely yours,
Ms. Star

I guess the point to this particular FAQ is that there truly is a protocol for requesting information from people online.  When contacting a dominant individual, be aware that we do have egos.  (At least I do) We also have names and/or titles.  For me, including my title is not necessary.   It's a nice touch, but I do not require it. 

The body of your letter shouldn't sound like a demand, nor should it sound like you're begging for information.  It should sound however, respectful in tone and in words. Would you write your teacher or professor in this manner?

As I pointed out earlier, typing in all uppercase is considered shouting.  If you are visually impaired, please say so.   By doing that, it allows us to send back a response that takes your special need into consideration and we can respond accordingly.  Otherwise,  you run the risk of not having your request answered. 

If you feel the person you've written to can provide you with the information that you need, then show them the respect by taking the time to address your letter and signing it.  You don't have to use your real name but a signature of some type is appropriate. 

And finally let the person know that you appreciate their time. 

One, for being a potential resource. 

Two, for creating something that might help you find the answers that you have long searched for and been unable to obtain.

Three, Webmasters spend a great deal of time researching the information that is passed on to you.  We are NOT here for your convenience but rather as a means of providing a bridge between you and the source of knowledge that you seek.  Please respect us for that.

And since I'm on the subject of Internet Protocol and Email let me pass on to you my tips for responding to mailing lists and newsgroups posts.

BEFORE you hit SEND, read CAREFULLY what you write.

BEFORE you hit SEND, be sure to UNDERSTAND what you have written and how it might be received by others.

BEFORE you hit SEND, make sure that you have stated YOUR facts clearly, no generalizations, be clear, be concise and above all else, be accurate.

BEFORE you hit SEND, be sure to remember that people are NOT mind readers.

BEFORE you hit SEND, be sure to understand that most people DO NOT know what experiences you have had in the past.

BEFORE you hit SEND, THINK about what you are writing; what you hope that people will 'HEAR' you say.

BEFORE you hit SEND, feeling as though YOU were the one being attacked, stop and think about HOW you sounded. BE HONEST WITH YOURSELF. Is it possible that you sounded a bit sanctimonious? Experienced? Bitter? Or just plain pissed off At the time you wrote?

You cannot expect to post an opinion without receiving some type of good and/or bad comments from others. THAT is the way of ALL mailing lists.

BEFORE you hit SEND, remember... if you don't want somebody to comment about what you have written then DO NOT hit the SEND button.

 

"Before You Send" written by Mistress Littlestar
Copyright © 2000, 1999  All Rights Reserved

Permission to re-publish "Before You Send" is granted provided you keep the Author's name and email intact and include the copyright and contact information where ever it is used. Ms. Star