Spending the Night in a Cup
by David Sebringsil

This story is intended primarily for those men who are not involved in an intimate relationship with another person. Just because an individual is not involved with another person does not mean that a person is asexual, and is somehow doomed to never experience the interesting sexual sensations that their bodies are capable of producing. Indeed, many men living under such conditions may actually be experiencing a great deal  more fun than their counterparts that are involved in intimate relationships. You may understand why this could be possible as the story proceeds.

Most men learn how to masturbate under very unfortunate set of circumstances. What is learned in our youth is very interesting-- masturbation is at once extraordinary fun, but somehow evil and something that any real man should be ashamed of. Thus, while most men enjoy masturbation immensely (Authors of a few sex manuals I have read argue that for many men, the orgasms are even stronger than those involved in heterosexual intercourse), they soon learn that in order not to be "discovered," they must complete the act from arousal to orgasm very quickly--perhaps in the space of a few minutes, likely in the bathroom, if possible; and perish the thought of having sheets and pajamas covered with ejaculate.

What's a fellow to do after ejaculating in bed? Turn the light on to get up, clean up, and change pajamas? This will likely attract attention from whoever else is in the room or house, whether that be a roommate, a parent or another family member. The message is quickly learned that while masturbation (even involuntary masturbation from wet dreams) is a great deal of fun, the feeling of cold ejaculate for the rest of the nite on the pajama leg is not fun, but must be endured to avoid being embarrassed by being "discovered." It's either that or a quickie masturbation session in he bathroom, all the time hoping that no one breaks in to ask why you are taking so long.

And it gets no better as we get older and move away from home. College students are absolutely terrified of the thought that somehow their roommate or another male friend might discover that they masturbate. I'm not sure what the social signals are here--perhaps that any male who masturbates is somehow unable to form a relationship with a woman? Perhaps this means a person is gay? Why the extreme embarrassment even among college students who brag about their other sexual conquests is unclear.  Whatever society is saying here is badly messed up. Masturbation is no sign of weakness, sexual preference, or anything else. Sure, gays masturbate, but virtually every other healthy male masturbates whatever their sexual orientation, most throughout their lives. Nearly every male thinks he does it more than he "should" as if there was some sort of allocation. Occasionally, a man might not masturbate regularly if he is in a relationship in which he engages in partner sex so frequently that he lacks the energy do it any other time. Even here it gets confusing, because many forms of partner sex involve mutual masturbation or activities very similar to masturbation. After all, what is foreplay but a form of mutual masturbation? In addition, my hunch is that for most men, masturbation as a form of sexual play occurs far later into life than many people realize.  The problem, of course, is that like most other forms of sexual activity, masturbation is a great deal more fun if it can be taken slowly, with each sensation enjoyed for what it is, and with no concern for being discovered. Furthermore, unlearning the quickie techniques learned in childhood can not only be fun, but even ultimately enhance one's sex life should one get involved in an intimate relationship. Like other forms of sexual activity, it's important to introduce variety in masturbation. Part of the fun of sexuality is the unexpected; the unknown. 

Before describing a technique employing a hard-cup jock strap, let me first say that I am a big proponent of sexual activities that are not dangerous and do no harm to anyone, and do not transmit disease. If they do not even require a partner, all the better.

The internet is abuzz with discussions related to jock straps--A whole news group alt.support.jock-strap is devoted to it. This newsgroup does not exist because of widespread interest in what needs to be worn to protect oneself during contact sports--there is obviously something with sexual overtones going on here.

Most men, when they think of sexual feelings, tend to identify with the pleasant sensations obtained from stroking the penis, particularly the underside of the head, or the area technically called the frenulum (Has it occurred everyone that there is a biological reason why nature made that particular spot is so ultra sensitive? e-mail me and I will explain my theory on that further). But the entire groin area is one giant erogenous zone, including little recognized places such as the inner thighs, and in particular, the area between the scrotum or anus (read my thongman primer) Thus, any article of clothing that comes into contact with any of these areas is capable of introducing sensations, some perceived as being clearly sexual, others not, and still others in a strange halfway region that depends on the particular situation. Most men have trouble interpreting signals in this latter category. Most of these sensations are pleasant, but some are interpreted by the brain as being more nearly sexual than others. Is the simple act of putting on a tight fitting pair of underwear sexual or not? I suppose that depends on how the individual interprets the tactile signals. However, if you interpret a sensation to be sexual, then for you it undoubtedly is.

Jock straps are of interest because they are the one article of clothing (underwear) that by design and purpose, fit very tight to the groin, perhaps tighter than any other. But there is also a good deal of quasi-sexual interest in brief and thong swimwear, cycling and compression shorts that contain spandex and the like. (I'm still trying to figure out
loose-fitting "boxer people" in this regard. Something similar must be going on based on their observed behavior--perhaps some of you could clue me in on the details of how you interpret the tactile signals from loose
fitting boxers) Now for the fun part. Actually, you may or may not find this activity fun depending on your mindset. But bear with me. As is widely recognized, the sex organs of a man's body go through a number of erection cycles during the night, some of which may ultimately lead to an unintended orgasm or wet dream. Because of the pressure, any article of clothing that puts pressure on any part of the groin area, (including but not limited to the penis and scrotum} will tend to produce one and perhaps interesting and unanticipated sensations as these arousal cycles proceed. The brain may interpret many of these sensations as providing a great deal of fun. 

More than a few men enjoy wearing jockstraps as sleepwear. Others who interpret the tactile signals differently (and they have every right to. It's their brain!) describe the sensations in very non-sexual terms--simply as uncomfortable. There appear to be two categories of men:  those that prefer loose-fitting clothing and those who enjoy tight fitting clothing as sleepwear. (I also suspect that the loose-fitting group are big on masturbating quickly, focusing almost exclusively on the penis, but that is another arguable story/theory of mine)

Now suppose that an additional element is added: a hard cup. Much discussion on the newsgroup alt.support.jock-strap centers on the supposedly erotic qualities of the streamlined Bike cup. My problem with
the Bike cup is that it doesn't produce a tight enough fit to the penis, allowing the penis to flop around a lot. As sleepwear, in this experiment the whole idea is to find as tight a fitting cup as possible, one that just barely contains your flaccid penis. 

Next, slip the jock strap and cup on and crawl into bed. You may want to wear the jock over a tight fitting pair of briefs or even a thong. The pressure of the thong straps along with the straps of the jock is interesting. In addition, for a good fit the cup should be held really tight to the groin, so you may want to top this off with a pair of compression shorts  Try to find a comfortable position to drift off to sleep in.

Problem number 1 that may occur: The feel of the cup held tightly to the groin is starting to be interpreted by your body as a sexual rather than as a non-sexual sensation, and you are starting to feel slightly aroused.  What's more interesting, you are starting to sense the distinct pressure of the hard cup against the penis. Meanwhile, the cord of the thong is starting to tug away as the penis hardens slightly, and the straps of the jock are starting to bind a bit. What to do? Try to quit thinking about where your sex organs are, and attempt to get some much-needed rest. 

Problem number 2: You wake up and the situation is not getting any better. You are still stuck in all the layers of clothing and the traps are starting to really put the tension on. Somehow the sensations of all of this are magnified at night.   Now it's 3:00 AM and you discover that the feelings you earlier that night had interpreted as only mildly sexual are turning into a serious hard-on. Your brain interprets the tactile signals from the groin area as if everything in the groin area is getting tighter with no way out.  Moreover, the thong strap which was tolerable earlier that nite is really starting to tug. The cup is hard and cold, the pressure of the hard cup on the penis is building, and can no longer be put out of your mind. Serious trouble! What's worse, you are starting to experience sensations that are screaming to your brain "I need to ejaculate, and the sooner the better!"

You reach down, thinking there is a simple fix to all of this. Just stroke the penis to ejaculate and relieve the pressure. But given the clothing, this is not so easy. That doggone cup is in the way. You know that if you
could only touch the frenulum of the penis, you would go off quickly, but that is in a position which you can't get to. At least not very easily.  This is maddening. Maddening, frustrating--but at the same time, terrific fun! You are nearly out of your mind in agony, desperately needing to ejaculate but not quite being able to reach the erection level to the point where you can. Keep going. Maybe there is hope. You keep trying. What will possibly work? You try to stroke your penis through the cup, but that doesn't quite do it. You attempt to adjust the cup by pressing it sideways and downward hoping that you can find some position that will provide momentary relief from pressure and the agony.  But if you have chosen your jock strap well, nothing will work. When you move the cup a bit, the penis senses the pressure as a new sensation and gets a bit harder instead. You even try laying on your stomach, but that just presses the cup closer to the groin, which doesn't improve the situation either.

The situation is ultimately resolved. either (1) the hard-on subsides on its own, (2) you end up reaching a stage where you finally are able to ejaculate into the cup, or (3) you pull off everything and masturbate to orgasm. I've had some great orgasms by masturbation (I like to wrap the penis in a facial tissue to collect he ejaculate, then stroke through the tissue) after an hour or two of this, but all three events have happened to me on various occasions. You never quite know how it will turn out.

The amount of fun you will have doing this seems to vary depending on how long it has been since your last orgasm. This activity is particularly enjoyable if you have already gone 2-3 days without ejaculating. So if it doesn't work for you the first night, then try for another nite.

The next day, you may get some rather weird sensations centered in the pit of your stomach--interestingly enough a craving or longing for the pressure and sensation of the cup to be again held tightly against the groin. A new nervous pathway has clearly developed that "remembers" the sensations of the night before, and craves their continuation. It's the strangest feeling--you may come home from work anxious to put on the cup again.

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The Thonging Primer
By David Sebringsil

If you enjoy the maddenly delicious feelings that occur when you would like to ejaculate but cannot, and would like to learn how to prolong this state for a period of more than a few minutes, perhaps even hours or days then you are a logical candidate for learning thonging.

The goal of thonging is to maintain a high degree of sexual arousal for a long period of time without ever being to the point where ejaculation is inevitable.

The thonging techniques I describe are in some ways similar to those found in books that teach specific exercises that to delay ejaculation, but more is involved. See, for example the techniques outlined in Bernie Zibergeld's excellent book The New Male Sexuality.

What you are going to attempt to do is similar to a surfer who attempts to ride the highest waves for the longest period of time without taking a spill (no pun intended) or a race car driver who attempts to increase speed around the track by going as close as possible but never hitting the wall.

Think of a thong as simply a device that helps apply pressure at certain points that you will later want to massage, while diverting your attention from elsewhere (the penis!).

GETTING STARTED

1. Purchase a thong. If you have not worn a thong before you may become slightly aroused at the thought of underwear that part of which will be tightly between your buttocks.

If in doubt, choose the smaller size, as a smaller thong will make it easier for you to locate the specific pressure points. Look for the cotton/lycra blends which tend to "fit" better and apply more pressure.

2. Allocate a minimum of 2-3 hours for your first experiment, which should consist of putting on the thong and locating the pressure point just behind the scrotum. It is likely that if you have not worn a thong before, you may find this somewhat arousing. That is part of the fun. Read the discussion in Men's Health (Nov., 1995) pg 95 for the discussion on the "perineum area and exactly what is being stimulated when pressure is applied at this point. The sensitivity of this area is such that it is sometimes also referred to as the "second" male "G" spot. (The first is
the frenulum on the underside of the head of the penis.) 

You will quickly be able to determine this if you start staining the thong with ooze. Ooze, sometimes called "precum," is produced by the cowpers gland. It is not semen, but a lubricant that also reduces the acidity of
the vagina.

3. Ooze production is a "clear" signal as to how aroused you are. Just because you begin to produce ooze does not mean that you will automatically proceed to ejaculation. With practice, while thonging, you can learn to produce ooze for hours at a time. The slight pressure of the thong keeps the ooze flowing for many people. 

4. Ooze production ceases if you either become too aroused, heading toward ejaculation or you start loosing your erection. You can quickly determine by looking at the stains being produced whether you are becoming too
aroused. If the stains turn cloudy you are producing semen, and you have gone too far. If so, keep the thong on but stop and let things cool down a bit. You may be able to recover and keep going without ejaculating.

5. Massage the area directly behind the scrotum where the cord is attached to the thong. Proceed backward along each side of the cord touching the hairs in the area and savoring the sweet sensations of which a wide variety are available here. Push upward to feel the rear of your penis inside of your body, but do not touch your external penis. Savor the sweet, exciting, but increasingly frustrating "I need to ejaculate" sensations. Don't touch your penis and you will be able to keep going without ejaculating.

Continue to make certain that you are still producing ooze. You can also massage your balls by tapping on them rapidly with your fingers or gently squeezing them If you are becoming too aroused and nearing ejaculation,
not only will ooze production suddenly stop but you balls will seem to become smaller and start to move toward your groin. If you sense this is starting to happen, stop massaging and wait a bit until you cool down and are once again feel that you can delay orgasm.

ADVANCED TECHNIQUES

Gradually and with practice you will learn how to remain in a state of very high arousal but without ejaculation for a long period of time (like hours). Each time you practice, try to get closer and closer to the edge for a longer and longer period of time without ejaculating. Each brand of thong has a slightly different feeling and pressure level. Experiment with different brands and sizes.

Once you have accomplished, you will want to have on hand several different brands and sizes of thongs depending on how much pressure you want. Your desire for pressure from the thong will vary hour to hour and day to day.

Once you've concluded these sessions to a length satisfactory to you feel free to masturbate to ejaculation using whatever technique and lubricant appeals to you. You will discover that you will have some of the best and
most powerful ejaculations ever.

DIGRESSION ON SCIENCE

You are playing with basic natural instincts here. Since procreation is a basic part of nature, nature provided that people go quickly into an arousal state similar to this when you first meet a person you are strongly attracted to. Love at first sight may be synonymous with ooze production. The cowpers gland responsible for the ooze production appears to be hard wired to the brain, which responds to signals by producing endorphins (natural drugs similar in effect to cocaine I am told) that induce a state of euphoria (well being).

You are producing a similar effect here with the pressure on the perineum area from the tight-fitting thong. That's why the arousal stage when you produce ooze is at once so pleasant and yet so frustrating. Obviously the
human race would quickly die out if no one ever moved forward eventually to ejaculation.)

THE BEST PART

Unlike other forms of sexual activity, this one is very low cost ($7 for a decent thong) and absolutely safe. There are no known cases of HIV transmission or other STD from thong to human. Moreover, it can be done in private and without worrying about someone else's needs. I am not aware of any side effects other than a tendency to feel a bit on edge if you keep at it long enough--like drinking a few too many cups of coffee. I suspect this is a side effect of the endorphins or other brain chemicals that produce the pleasant feelings.

Males may not have multiple orgasms, but we still may have gotten the better end of the deal. Sex organs seem to work better than ever with this kind of "exercise." I have not encountered a limit on how much ooze the cowpers can produce. May you ooze for a long time every day and be able to savor all the sweet, delicate, and frustrating but exiting sensations your body is capable of offering.

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A Learner's Guide to Touching and Underwear
by David Sebringsil


Preface

As a famous woodworker on public television says "First a word about shop safety. There is no better rule than to always wear your safety glasses." Thongman says first rule of "fun sex" is "safe sex." By definition, any
activity that endangers the physical or emotional health of you or your partner is not fun sex. The activities I suggest are fun sex in part because they will do no harm to you, and, hopefully, no harm to your partner. They are, by definition, safe sex. A hobby whereby you do not need to remodel the basement. I like that. They can be pursued at home, in your spare time, and without a lot of expense. I like that too. For those of you who somehow believe that you can't have fun without endangering yourself or others, quit reading right here. For the rest of you, read on. Enjoy. Have fun, but keep in mind this philosophy.

Introduction

Touching is fun. A lot of fun! The so-called sex experts divide touching into two categories--sexual touching, that is, touching that stimulates the arousal mechanism, and non-sexual touching, touching that does not result in arousal. It's not that simple. The brain interprets the sensations from the skin. Any touch can be sexual--or non-sexual--depending on how the brain decodes the circumstances and signals. The brain may be the largest sex organ in terms of size, but the skin is the largest sex organ in terms of surface area.

Many men do not realize this. They think that sexual touching is largely confined to the genitals, and perhaps a few other places on the body.  Places like the lips, the breasts and the like. Nothing can be further from the truth. For most men, the entire groin area is an erogenous zone.  Some of the sensations from touching may be less intense than, say touching the head of an erect penis, but no less interesting and enjoyable. Sexual touching results in arousal. Non-sexual touching does not. The slang term is turn-on. A touch may be a turn-on for one person
but not another. The brain interprets the signals as it sees fit.

The arousal mechanism is interesting--one of most fascinating parts of nature's engineering. My e-mail friends in medicine use the medical term "limbic system" to describe the mechanism that links the brain and the sex
organs and associated glands. We might like to believe that the arousal mechanism is under our conscious control--that is--we can determine the circumstances under which we will or will not be aroused. Nature doesn't
see it that way. Our brain tells us when we are aroused. Not the other way around. We can no more will our arousal systems to go into action or not than we can, say, will our eye color to change from blue to brown. It can't be done. At the same time, we can continue to discover new and different ways by which we can be aroused. This discovery process can (and should) last a lifetime.

We are all different. Each of us is unique in terms of what turns on the arousal mechanism. Yet, we are all the same. We should celebrate our uniqueness and yet at the same time appreciate the complex sexual mechanisms that make us human.

Arousal and erection are separate, but ultimately related. Arousal can happen very rapidly, usually in response to visual and/or tactile stimuli. Erection usually takes much longer and involves a different response. Nature, seeking a system that maximized the opportunities for continuing the species, designed it this way.

How do you know when you are aroused? One of the first indications is that a glistening drop of ooze, or precum, appears on the tip of the penis. This frequently happens even when the penis is not erect, as a result of
initial arousal signals.

Many men appear to believe that precum is simply semen dripping. This is not true. Precum is largely produced by a small gland called the cowpers. The cowpers is hard-wired to the brain, sort of like an early- warning system. This system announces to you (you don't tell it) that something sexually interesting has occurred.

There are psychological effects as well. The "good feelings" associated with arousal are largely a result of the fact that concomitantly with start of the oozing, the brain is being flooded with endorphins--natural chemicals similar in action to cocaine but (of course) not harmful. Your conscious brain responds (you respond) by attempting to get whatever arousal signal is being sent to continue--visual, tactile or whatever. What the signal might be could be very, very personal. This is the mechanism associated with "love at first sight." After all, all those endorphins "feel" really great and you want those good feelings to continue. Clearly, the arousal signals that work for you may not work for me, and vice versa. Potentially, with respect to signals, we are all different in this regard, but we all get the same good feeling when aroused.

In our society, it's socially acceptable for a male to be turned on by the visual signals being sent by a female. It's ok to admit this to our male friends. But everyone is different. If we are not particularly turned on by the visual signals from a female we dare not admit this to our friends for fear of being ostracized. Not all of us are necessarily turned on by visual signals, and type and extent to which these visual signals result in arousal varies dramatically from one individual to another. The arousal signals for gays are only trivially different from those for heterosexual males. The Enlightened know that sexual orientation is far more complex than simply being gay or straight. There are probably hundreds or even thousands of different orientation categories, depending on the precise signals that send the arousal mechanism into action. Each of us is unique. We must recognize this. Yet, we are all human beings.

Some people are more turned on by tactile than visual signals. I number myself among them. I am "straight" but simply am not much into the visual thing. My friends claim I "miss" noticing pretty girls. They are probably
right. For me, I just don't find visual stimuli very arousing. At least most of the time. But words describing sexual sensations and acts are arousing for me. When reading Penthouse, I skip over the pictures and head straight for the (arousal) stories!

All of this does not mean that I am disinterested in sex. Quite the opposite. A sex expert might categorize me as a "touchy-feely." I am particularly turned on by touch. Up until a few weeks ago, I thought that this was really uncommon. I'm now convinced I'm quite "normal". Most men greatly enjoy touch. It's just that they don't frequently admit this to their friends. I wonder if men communicate this to their partners. In many instances, I doubt it.

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Exploring Tactile Sensations: Getting in Touch with the Sensation Your Body Can Produce
by David Sebringsil

Most men very much enjoy stroking their penis, particularly the underside of the head called the frenulum. It's so much fun that men sometimes fail to appreciate that there are many other areas of the body that respond to
touch as well. As a child, we perhaps learned that there are some parts of the body that should not be touched, as if touching these parts was going to result in some sort of physical harm. As adults, we should know better, but we sometimes forget. Nature didn't design us with untouchable external parts. The part's that shouldn't be touched are on the inside and cannot be touched. The parts on the outside all can--and should--be touched (with the possible exception of the eyes).

Arousal Versus Erection

Most men likely equate masturbation with touching the penis so that it becomes erect. Masturbation and erection--not masturbation and arousal- -become synonymous. It's no particular trick to set the erection mechanism
into action by stroking the penis. The arousal process is far more subtle, but at least as interesting. Touch can be used to stimulate the arousal mechanism. The approach is different from that used to stimulate the erection mechanism. More subtle. Less intense. Longer lasting. I think, ultimately more fun. Not only that, the arousal sensations vary from hour to hour, from minute to minute, and even, from moment to moment.

Getting Started

Allocate a period of time when your mind is not distracted with other activities, worries or concerns. A couple of favorite times for me are right after retiring at night, and the period of time between, say, 4:30 and 6:30 AM. I live alone. If you have a partner, you might allocate some time when you are on a boring business trip, or when your partner is away. The important thing is to find a period of time when you can concentrate on the sensations your body is producing and not be distracted. Bedtime is great. The sensations are magnified at night.

At this point you are probably saying "this is dumb." Why am I reading this? Now the advice gets even stranger. Start touching. You may touch any part of your body EXCEPT for your penis. How weird. What's going on? Where do you start? A game you are playing with yourself with only one dumb rule. Don't touch your penis. Start anywhere you would like. Upon touching a body part, examine the sensation? Is it pleasant? Most touches are. Do you find it interesting or rather boring? Take note. Once you have examined the sensation at a particular point, move on to another body part.

Concentrating on The Groin You may soon discover that many of the interesting sensations occur in the general area of the groin, from below your belly button to the upper part of your legs. I wonder why! Now start to limit yourself to only this area. Carefully examine each spot lingering on the spots that strike you as the most interesting. You may return to these spots a few minutes later. Interestingly, they may feel different on a second visit. Arousing? Maybe. Maybe not. How do you know? Check your cowpers. Are you starting to ooze, or not? Return again to the spots that seem the most interesting. Check them out again. The spot you thought wasn't arousing at all a few minutes ago may now be producing some very interesting sensations and feelings. Try different approaches to touching, gentle tapping with the fingertips, circular fingertip massage, and the like.

Pay particular attention to the perineum region just behind your balls and rearward to your anus. A thong will help you locate this area precisely (see below). There is a large bundle of nerve endings here, and you are externally massaging the cowpers and perhaps the prostate from this location.

Think of a giant painting filled with colors. After a few minutes the colors change. A few minutes more, the colors have changed again. Each painting is equally beautiful, but different from the previous one. There is every reason to believe that the sensation/body part you passed over a few minutes ago because you thought it was non-erotic is now an erotic hot spot. You just never know. This is certainly going to take more than one session. (Indeed, you can spend an entire lifetime locating these spots!) 

Note carefully how the feel of your scrotum changes from moment to moment. First they feel very soft. Almost swollen and gelatinous. tap gently with your first two fingers. At about 5:00 AM, when your testosterone level is
greatest, they will feel wonderful at this stage. As you start to get erect, the feel of your balls will change significantly. Take note. They will become smaller and harder, like a pair of walnuts, and pull up closer to your body. This will become particularly obvious as you start to get fully erect, and is a sign that you are nearing orgasm.

Bringing the Session to a "Conclusion"

Toward the end of the session, you will gradually want to start to pay some attention to your penis. If you have found some of the sensations arousing, you will likely have a bit of a (or perhaps a major) hard-on.  You may enjoy a lubricant such as a clear aloe vera hand lotion. Your own precum is the ideal lubricant if you have produced enough.

Work from the base of the penis first, ignoring for the time being, the tip and frenulum. Alternate between squeezing gently and stroking, gradually making the strokes longer and quickening the pace. Finally, once
you have secured a good erection, start to gently massage the frenulum on  the underside of the tip. You are now only seconds away from orgasm. Enjoy....

Partner Sex

So far, the techniques I have described have not involved a partner.  However, much of what you have learned about your own arousal mechanism can also be used helpful information in partner sex. The sex therapists talk a lot about "communication" as forming the basis of any relationship. Specifically what communication they are referring to may be unclear. Communication starts when you are able to communicate to your partner exactly the sensations and tactile stimuli that turn you on. In gay sex, a man may discover that his partner is aroused in some of the exact same places. In addition, this is the opportunity to communicate what you like.

This information may also be important in male-female sex. First, by becoming aware of the arousal possibilities other than the penis, you may discover that you can maintain a high arousal level for a much longer period of time than you had previously thought possible--an opportunity to demonstrate loving-and-caring feelings. Since you are able to last longer, your partner may not feel as rushed. Since women normally take a longer period of time for arousal than men, these techniques will tend to even the time out. Further, you can communicate to your partner exactly the locations and types of touch that you most enjoy.

In addition, you can approach a woman's body in the same way you approached your own. The woman, used to a "rush to orgasm" in much partner sex, may at first be (pleasantly?) surprised that you wish to go "exploring." Each fold of skin represents a new arousal "possibility."  Remember what you learned about yourself: The spot that was not arousing at all a few minutes ago may be highly erotic only a few minutes later. Keep in mind some of the basics of the female anatomy-- for example, the clitoris represents only the tip of a much larger structure that contains at least as many nerve endings as the penis. Techniques for stimulating the clitoris and arousing women thus require entire books to adequately discuss.

Concluding Comments

I hope that you will find these comments and lessons helpful. Enjoy and have fun!