Your S/O wants to play a game. He is highly aroused by the idea of being controlled sexually, and is willing to be denied sexual release as a manifestation of that control. You, on the other hand, are denied nothing sexually during this game and will likely give him a raging hard-on by reminding him of that fact periodically.
The essence of the game is simple. Any time you have a sexual encounter, he has a random chance of being allowed sexual release, which starts out low and increases over time. The devil is in the details.
The first thing to do is decide roughly how many days should pass before he is likely to be allowed an orgasm. This should be mutually agreed upon in advance, though if he is very adventurous he may decide to leave it entirely up to you. Use ten days as an example. On any day you have sex, you will make a 'lottery' draw to determine if it is his lucky day.
Lottery tokens can take many forms. In this example we will use colored glass beads, green for lucky and blue for, well, you get the idea. Using the ten day example, you will need ten green beads (the number of days you have selected) and twenty blue beads (twice the number of days you have selected). To start the game, place one green bead and the twenty blue beads in a container. Mix them around and make a random draw, but don't show him what you drew. Look at it and set it aside for later, where he cannot see it.
The second thing that needs to be decided in advance is how long you are willing to play with him during a session; we will use fifteen minutes in this example. Now the fun begins. The idea is to arouse him physically and bring him as close to orgasm as possible as many times as you like. He has no idea if you picked a green bead, so for all he knows you will allow him an orgasm today and he should therefore be trying hard to achieve it. If you picked a green bead, anytime during the fifteen minutes you may choose to let him come. If you picked a blue bead, at the end of the fifteen minutes you will simply leave him aroused and wish him better luck next time.
Every day one additional green bead is placed in the container, and one blue bead is removed, regardless of having sex that day or not. If you have not picked a green bead by the time ten days have passed you will have all ten green beads in the container and eleven blue beads, which represents roughly 50/50 odds for him. This is certainly as much as he deserves, so leave the bead mix at the 50/50 point from ten days onward.
The game is reset to the day one bead mixture any time he has an orgasm, for whatever reason or cause. Conversely, if you should happen to select a green bead and he does not come in the time allowed, then the bead mix continues as if you had selected a blue bead that day. The self resetting feature of the game allows you to play it for extended periods of time, weeks or months.
The game duration is another thing to negotiate in advance. It can end when:
This is as much a mind game as anything else. Consider the things you could do with a green bead. You can let him get really close to orgasm and then 'accidentally' slow him down too late. Of course he would not know it was not an accident until you showed him the bead you had set aside when you drew it. This would be fodder for mind games on other days. Another idea is to toy with him for thirteen or fourteen minutes and then let him know that he got a green bead, and that further, you are going to quit for the day in two minutes. That should focus his mind.
- A certain number of days have elapsed.
- When he has come, under game conditions, a certain number of times.
- When you have come a certain number of times! Etc.
If you wish to increase his devotion to your pleasure, you can use your orgasms, instead of the calendar, to add green beads to the mix. One green bead for each of your orgasms. He will be much more likely to give you multiple orgasms, so use an appropriate number of blue beads to start.
Since the name of the game is control, here are some ideas to consider.
Tie him down face up. Stroke him, ride him, whatever you want. In the heat of the moment he may not want to stop when the time comes. Now he has no choice in the matter.
Tie him down face down. Tie his hands so that, with you lying under him, he cannot reach your shoulders to grab you, but he can still support his weight. Leaving a little slack, tie his cock and/or balls to the foot of the bed. Slide under him and let him enter you. With the slack you gave him he will be able to thrust into you and imagine that he is in control.
When you want to slow him down, slide up toward the head of the bed. When you have pulled back until he has only the head of his cock in you, any stroking will cause him to fall out. That would be a good time to remind him that if he falls out, you are not going to put it back for him.
Let him know that if it falls out, he has sixty seconds to put it back by himself before you quit for the day. With his hands tied, that should be pretty amusing. It won't take long for him to realize how little control he really has even though he is on top.
If you don't feel like touching him at all, make him stroke himself. All you have to do is tell him faster, slower, harder, softer, etc. Make him tell you when he is getting close, for obvious reasons.
Here are some general guidelines:
1. All sessions start with assuring your pleasure! Don't play with him until he has completely satisfied you.
2. Your personal goal throughout this game should be to have fun. It would be silly to have any guilt, since you can assume that he is getting what he asked for no matter what happens.
3. The end time should be rigidly adhered to. This means that if he seems really near to orgasm and stop time comes, then too bad. The only exception to this is that, if you actually feel him start to come, keep going and don't stop. If you are not absolutely sure that he is squirting, then stop anyway. If he really was squirting then feel free to stroke it to completion by hand.
4. Any masturbation on his part while the game is in progress is strictly forbidden. Violation of this rule will result in the correction of your choice, and restarts the game.
5. Cheerfully ignore any begging, pleading or stern sounding demands that the game is over or the rules should change. Anything like the above that you might hear, at any time of the night or day, should be dismissed as mere lunatic ravings. If he really, really, really wants to stop the game, he must put it in writing, printed like this, and not a hastily scrawled note. Printed notice to stop the game does not become effective until the day after it is presented. You actually have to see it, not just hear about it.
6. Likewise cheerfully ignore statements like 'Don't stop', 'Faster', 'Deeper', etc. unless it suits your fancy.
7. Changes to the game must be agreed upon by both parties, in writing, and become effective immediately. Hastily scrawled notes are acceptable.
For him, this game is about the journey, not the destination. Because of this, you will enhance the game for him considerably by verbally reminding him, on a regular basis, of what he has signed up for. By saying things like 'You must be getting pretty horny by now', 'If you get lucky I'll let you come', etc. you are asserting and defining your control, and making his journey more interesting.
Author of this FAQ is Domina Dear
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Revised: October 31, 2009.
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